Maybe the darkest secrets that we shared had provided us the pillars of our palace, gave us the shadow of the home we wish to build. Maybe the times that we argued had created the magnificent rooms which span days to go to and fro, allowing us to hide in silence when we are unable to express our hurt. Spaces to which you could play your violin while I stay on my own to write my worries away. Maybe the hallways in between are for the times we kissed and make up after each fight. Hallways made of marble which echoes the sound of approaching footsteps that assure us of each other’s willingness to lay down our pride and go back to each other when we are ready. Maybe the surprises and the bouquet of flowers showered in public served as the spires that pierced the heavens for both angels and men to admire.
But had we truly built a palace that only the strongest wind could topple down?
My love, there were so many little details, small cracks, that we had overlooked. Or perhaps chose to. Did you really know the shade of violet that I like? Somehow, I never really thought to ask if you prefer a specific brand for your toothpaste. You never got to ask the story of why I always cut my hair 2 inches below my shoulder. And you never really told me if you would rather have it longer . You just seem to accept everything that I offer. And I just seem to like everything that you do. We had all our time devoted to anniversaries and funerals, of things we wanted to create between us and things we wish to destroy in us so we could be perfect for each other. Maybe we thought we could give to one another a love greater than what we can give to ourselves.
My love, maybe it was the little things that broke what we had. In time I’d realized that we did not need the strong wind to try us. We started a palace, one made of cards, and ended it for every sigh that we make over each other’s small mistake.