Dear you,

If you are reading this, I want you to know that there are million things I wanted to say but I couldn’t and a thousand more words I could say but I wouldn’t.

Dear you,

Do you remember meeting me? Well, I did remember you. You with your voice booming in the hallway like you own the world. You were so sure of yourself….Everyone can see that smile from a distance. Ah, yes, that smile. You know, it never has failed to make my heart skip a beat. A bit cliche, isn’t it? To describe that feeling with such overused and simple words. I was never one for poetry, never fond of cheesy words and never have been able to express my feelings the way I want it to be. Yet, those words were the very description of that moment. Probably all those song composers and lyricists were right and those poets were just creating a mere observation rather than a metaphorical piece because how else would I describe the feeling upon seeing you smile?

Dear you,

As I was reminiscing the days which had gone past, I realized I truly had done nothing. I did not reach for you when I see you torn because of her yet how could I? Tell me, how could I touch you and comfort you with words I am dying to say when who you wanted by your side was the girl who broke your heart and not the girl who is willing to mend it? So I’m sorry because when finally, you have showed interest in me, I remained at the farthest distance from you. You see, at that precise moment of seeing you broken, I’ve also broken my heart because I knew, I knew you love her so much but I could not be her, never be her. I realized, I don’t want to be her just for you. I stayed away because I was scared of losing myself to a broken man like you. If seeing you like that broke me already, how could I survive being with you? I wouldn’t have.

Dear you,

Today, I met you once more. I’ve been seeing you occasionally now due to our common friends. I still get that feeling whenever I see you smile. I don’t know why though. Stupid heart, stupid me. I can see it, you know, in your eyes whenever we happen to look at each other at the same time and in your touch whenever we accidentally brush each other’s arms that you also knew, we could’ve been something.  Yet for all those what-ifs, those chances I could have taken and for the time I could have spent being with you, it somehow dawned on me that I did not regret any of those. I couldn’t have healed you, I realized. You needed to heal yourself from that heartache of yours because if I have stepped in and hugged you then you would have seen me as another her, a second option.

Dear you,

I wonder if you also wonder what could’ve happen between us. I wonder if I really missed you or just our memories. I did not have any right on you. I’m just another person in your life now…. And even then.

They said that parallel lines are the saddest lines because they have everything in common but they’ll remain to be ignorant of each other’s existence forever. Yet, there are the tangents which only meet once and drift apart forever. And that’s pretty sad too…

And then, there’s us — the asymptotic lines. I was so close, close enough to have you but at the last moment, I had to let go and drift away from you. I guess, we’ll always be that way — one moment believing that “us” is a possibility just to realize at the end that we never were meant to be together at the first place.

And I think, that somehow, it’s also sad too.

 

 

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