is basically  a self-deprived and emotional wreck whose nights are spent watching videos after videos of a group performing on stage or just doing stupid things or in fact, just of them laughing and have them as your personal standard for men who wants to date you (aka being forever single because it’s too goddamn high)

For me, being a fangirl probably constitutes more than half ( who am I kidding? probably all) of my teenage life. One day I just found myself listening to this kind of music and searching for it until I realized that I’m already watching not the performances but actually variety shows in which they are guests of. I remember thinking, “oh my god they’re so hilarious”and so I started searching for more variety shows after variety shows. I found myself not wanting to stop listening to their songs although I obviously can’t speak nor understand their language.

I fell in love with how, compared to western artists, the amount of fan service they do is heart-warming and real. I feel teary-eyed whenever they shout the fandom’s name whenever they win awards like our very existence means so much more than having fans but rather, it is having a family of strangers who love each other and love them, no matter how weird that may sound.

I fell in love with the passion they have for what they do because they had to train for at least 5 years or so to be able to debut and even then, they don’t really have the assurance of getting enough spotlight but still they persevere to do what they dream about. And for me, the courage to do that is really admirable and worth appreciating.

I fell in love with their performances because you can see how they perfectly sync that difficult choreography with singing live. That, indeed, is true talent.

I fell in love with the charm and the smiles but also the tears they shed when they get their first award or a big award because you can see and truly feel how grateful they are for having achieved what they had achieved after those late-night practice and hard work they have as a team and individuals. It truly is inspiring to be given a proof that hard work does pay and dreams do come true.

I fell in love with each of the personality of the members of the team, of how different they are to each other yet the music brings them together. Somehow, their diversity brought balance to the team because one is almost a sunshine and the other is like a day with the snow. Bright and cold . Yet you can see how they understand each other as no other people ever will. I love how I can relate to one of them. It makes me think that perhaps, in this world, despite the difference we see in each other, there are things which could still bring us all home together. 

For me, to be a Kpop fan means being involved in fan wars although not intentionally since basically every fan war just results to you protecting the people you came to treasure. After all, being with them, knowing what color they like, their weaknesses, things they don’t like doing (or like doing for that matter) and the things that hurt them made you their mother, their girlfriend and their friend.

To be a Kpop fan is to be patient for “eng subs”

To be a Kpop fan is to be hysterical and emotional during their comebacks, concerts and award/music shows

To be a Kpop fan means to stop yourself from screaming at 12 am KST because they just dropped something previously unannounced

To be a Kpop fan is to know that “engrish” rarely exists in the Kpop World

To be a Kpop fan means to be a pervert once in a while

To be a Kpop fan is to see the people in your fandom as another family, one you’re willing to protect and care about at all costs

To be a Kpop fan is to love unconditionally both the group and the music they make

Well, honestly, to be a Kpop fan is to look beyond the barrier of language and be immerse in music. Being a Kpop fan had given me so much inspiration and happiness. There is no greater formula to a wild roller coaster ride than being one😉

Today, a fansite noona had died and although I don’t know her personally, it is so heartbreaking to hear that a person who brought smiles to fangirls like me had suffered in reality. To you, noona, thank you so much for everything. You are my inspiration in writing this one. This is for you, for BTS, for the whole ARMY fandom.. I am forever thankful I am part of this family❤❤