As the Christmas break is about coming to close, I found myself bored of scrolling up and down my Facebook and Twitter accounts. I mean, I do feel revived when once in a while I could tweet here and there just because I can relate to some hashtag trending in the no.1 spot but nah, after an hour or two? My mind goes haywire trying to figure out what I should do besides sleep , eat and flip through channels.

However, I found a solution. I just have to watch [or re-watch for that matter] my favorite anime right? So, right now I’m watching Haikyuu! and somehow, it really brings me this excitement [never fails to do so] and I just marvel at how they can make everything a quotable quote or how every win makes you cry and every block/spike/ receive is obviously an exaggerated scene but still makes you go from this

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to this

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because really who doesn’t get awed by how well executed their plays are?

But anyway, as I became engrossed with this,  I found this quote which brought back memories of my high school days where dancing is a part of my life.

We are like the blood in our veins. We must flow without stopping, keep the oxygen moving and our mind working.

Have you ever felt exhausted in your life? I do not mean the kind where you go home from school and realize you still have homework to do that will take up most of your night but I mean really exhausted like dead tired where your muscles are either numb or cramped from being used all day and even moving an inch to walk requires your utmost strength?

Because that is how I felt when I used to be in the dance troop.

I remember that I dread even doing stretching before the actual practice because they seem to be harsher. “One more lap” “Ten more of those squats””Come on! Flex!””I will push you to the ground if I have to just so you could get that split right!””What are you doing? Don’t slack off! Do you think you’re already better than the other dancers? I could always replace you if I want to” – These are words I and every dancer have as breakfast during practices when competition is around the corner. Kinda harsh, I know, and I haven’t even included the string of personal insults that the choreographer likes to hurl at us. You see, it’s a battle of mental and physical strength and if you can’t win that, then there’s no becoming a dancer. Every now and then, I still cringe and smile at that thought. However, the actual practice is as hellish as the stretching exercise. You have to be alert all the time because the choreographer [back then we have three] might suddenly decide to test a new routine by column of dancers and that equates to being watched by all the other dancers up close.The amount of stamina you got to have to endure as the routine and choreography is repeated again and again must not deplete or else you get called out and insulted. Match every step, be conscious of yourself and others because when it’s a straight line then it should look like one from every angle and when you’re suppose to jump then fall on the floor then it must be in sync with the people in your four directions. That is how it goes. Over and over. Don’t be worn out and you got to toughen your resolve to be a part of that team. Exhausting, right? But I did it because dancing is one of my passions. I may get cramps at the middle of night just when there’s no painkiller but it doesn’t matter because I still have to experience the same or even worse the next day and facing that fact is the only option.

But you see, when the competition is already there and you can feel the chill and thrill of having to see other competitors, that’s when the reward starts. Before we go on stage, I remember our choreographers telling us that they are proud of us and whatever the outcome is, we should know that it was the best of what we could give. I know it is such a common thing to say but you see when compliments come from people who had done nothing but let you down, you just get taken aback and somehow feel this surge of confidence that your team could really do it. I remember dancing for just 5 minutes and being a nervous wreck but my body is somehow moving on its own until that final seconds where I go to my final position and face the crowd and there I heard of the loud cheers that were for us and the look of pride from my classmates, my friends and family. Damn, until now, I still get goosebumps thinking about it.

That, I know even from then, will become one of the most blissful moments of my life.

I always look up to people and even manga/anime/book characters who aren’t afraid to chase their passions whatever they may be because I wasn’t really able to do that. Once in a while, I feel a pang of regret but now that I think of it, I feel blessed to even have experience what I’ve experience. Maybe that course isn’t for me no matter how much I wanted it but I guess tasting the icing should be sufficient enough when the cake isn’t for you, is it?

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