I wondered at times, if we were to be reincarnated, would I find you again?

If we are both void of the memories we have made, the faces we have come to memorize from nights of staring at each other and of names we’ve learned to paint in each other’s lips, would I have found you? Would I have recognize you?

I wonder..

Would I have shed a tear  if I’d bump into you in my favorite shop? When at the moment our hands reach out for the same thing as if the universe is conspiring for us to meet in another life to give us a second chance, would I feel as if electricity suddenly runs my veins? Would I have felt the exact way I felt when I used to hold those hands of yours?

I wonder..

If our eyes meet, would mine recognize the person I’ve come to love even if he no longer bears the physical characteristics I have yearned for all these years? Would I have felt a pang of regret, of sadness, of the need to touch your face and confess how much I’ve missed you?

I wonder…

As you would have withdraw the hands that touched mine, will I feel the emptiness of not having your warmth?

I wonder if I’d just stand there doing nothing or would I stop you on your tracks and ask for your name. Would I have fallen in love with your voice and smile  just as I had then?

I wonder if as you turn your back to another life without me, would I have the courage to say the words I have failed to say no matter how crazy they may sound?

“Don’t leave.”

Just because…

Just because…

I feel like I’ve lost you once and I’m afraid to lose you again.

“Don’t leave.”

because fate may decide not to give you to me again

“Don’t leave.”

because you left too early last time and I wasn’t prepared to live a life without you in it

because I wanted so much to deprived the heavens of you but it decided to still take you away and no matter how much I want to rip away the sun from the sky for rising when he knows how cruel it is that I can no longer see you, I can’t.

And it’s so cruel, too cruel of a punishment.

So in this good enough day where I am  to meet the you in another life, I ask the one above for the permission to love you again, to tell you you are my first love and always will be in this life and in all of the lives we will have to live so please, please, if fate  may allow us, don’t leave.

Don’t leave.


 

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