She is fire thrown into the path of a war-torn boy. A searing and unforgiving blaze in a world so chaotic. She does not have the beauty to launch a thousand ships but she had eyes which tell that she can destroy all of them instead. It is too much to take – her strength, her independence, her unwavering beliefs.
It is almost a joke played on himself to love someone like her.
I follow the charred trail of her path as she makes her way around my world. To my surprise, she one day asked, “Do you love me?”
I looked at the girl who came so suddenly and created a chaos within chaos. Do I love her?
“But I can tell that you have an armor. You follow yet you do not dare approach because you are afraid of me, of what I might say which you do not want to hear. ”
But I know I love you.
“Then if you really do, be with me. Just you.”
Then I will strip of these armor and let you consume all that I am. I will bare to you the secrets that I keep, of the self that I am ashamed of, of the abyss in my soul and of the remaining pride I could offer. All of them. A fuel to your fire. Let me go to where you’ll go.
“You do not understand.”
What don’t I understand? Make me understand.
And then she continued on her path, leaving the ashes of my hopes for me to painfully recover.
I sound broken to my ears. But I have to hear it, an explanation, on why fate dare set light to my world to just take it away in a matter of heartbeats.
She looked at me not with those eyes which had destroyed a thousand ships but one which had feel that pang of sadness for wrecking another one.
“I don’t need someone who protects himself from me nor someone whose tears will one day quench me.” With that, she wiped a tear in my cheek. Her fire hissed from that contact as if proving her point. “I do not need a fuel which one day will exhaust himself into nothing nor do I need someone who offers himself to be consumed like nothing. I want you to be my equal. I need you to be a fire for yourself– all strength, independence and unwavering belief. Because when we stand against the world, I want you to be with me as I will be with you until the air that feeds us will be the one to destroy us. Because that’s how we will do it. We will burn, but for each other. And we will fight, but together.”
I used to think she was too much. But then again, maybe I was not yet enough.