There is nothing like the inevitability of us ending which haunts me at night when I am once again alone. In every pause, in daily goodbye and in every breath apart, I have feared the end before the end. I saw it on the day of your confession, on every rose and every kiss. I felt it like the incoming waves of the ocean— taunting to soak me, drag me, into the bottomless despair that I shall endure once I lose you. It is tempting to lie there, with just the sun’s pitiless gaze above and the ocean’s light touch — waiting, and just waiting, for the tempest’s rage to come and sweep me towards that inevitability I have feared of…

It comforts me that way — to know that it will end before it did. To know I will break before I did.

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