I want to capture your laughter and pour it in a bottle where I can keep it safe and close. I want to be able to drink it in times when I lose myself in my own madness, driven to hopelessness by self-inflicted pain. I want to remember, to know, to convince myself that I am someone who can make somebody produce that mirthful sound. I have to know. I have to be able to save myself when no one else will.
I want to hold your tears on the palm of my hands. I want to remember how it feels like to see so close the pain of another. I want to remember the feeling of wanting to protect another person. I need to know that I have to breathe for another day to be by your side and that I have to be okay for me to soothe your grieving heart. I can’t drown in my own sorrow because I have someone else to save and someone else to be happy for.
I want to keep the anguish and pain that you have received from someone else. I want it to course through me in times when I am tempted to choose what is easy than what is right. I need to be reminded that I have to win my battle for you. I need them so I could tell myself to be strong and to endure more.
I want to etch your whole being into my memory. I want to be reminded that I can love this much too.